February 26, 2006
This week ends with the resumption of routine. We were thrown off last week by MB's trip out of town. Something work-related. The good news was that Clem was staying, so I wasn't packed off to be boarded. MB worried that Clem would forget to turn thus and such lights on and that he wouldn't remember to fill both of my water dishes, and she was right. He did forget this and he didn't remember that, but I thought it was just fine. Two full days of no one singing to the birds or getting into that obnoxious "call-and-response" game with Isaac (MB and he repeat phrases back and forth to each other over and over and over from different parts of the house -- it's horrible) was a blessed respite as far as I was concerned.
Also, upon her return, MB accused Clem of over-feeding me. Clem and I kept mum but MB thinks my belly tells the story. Frankly, Clem's concept of a fair food portion was another thing I enjoyed about MB's absence.
I went in with them to the office this morning. MB was anxious about her plants and Clem always likes puttering at his computer. We played some football in the hallway, but then Clem went back to his computer and MB made me stay in her office. I do get a little bored with it. MB fusses over those plants, moves them around, sprays them with water, sprays them with bug soap, sprays them with fertilizer, refills their humidity trays, rearranges them, moves them from sunny spots to other sunny spots, cuts off dead leaves. She loves those plants but I can't tell whether they love her back.
MB was disappointed because some hyacinths she had potted a week ago bloomed while she was out of town. Their perfume was so strong that we were clobbered by the smell as soon as we stepped off the elevator onto the fifth floor. (I took one whiff and looked around for a ho'.) Clem told MB there had been complaints about it from the secretary,"Mary-Jo." She said it aggravated her sinuses. In fact, a day or so after MB left town, Mary-Jo tried to talk Clem into taking hostile action against the blooms. Clem, no fool, pretended he was immersed in his work and didn't understand the request. Then, according to Clem, Mary-Jo tried to squelch the aroma by shutting MB's office door, and her own door. Apparently someone named "Bert" closed his office door, too. MB observed that, notwithstanding these defensive efforts, the special "green" air conditioning and recirculating system of the building ensured that the scent was widely distributed throughout the suite.
MB found a note on her desk from Mary-Jo. This set MB off on a long rant to me and Clem, the particulars of which follow.
According to this note, Mary-Jo had received permission from Bert to raid MB's personal stash of SCAC rules books to provide to a division chief for photocopying. First, MB observed, Bert doesn't have authority to give Mary-Jo permission to do a damned thing in MB's office. Since Bert knew this, said MB, Bert had to have been acting under the supposition that some sort of dire need required instant attention.
Apparently, in MB's absence, one of the division chiefs had seen that enforcement officers had the updated version of the WRC "SCAC" rules book, which is a publication that MB oversees and distributes.
This chief reported to Bert that he was concerned that the enforcement division had their copies but that he had not received his.
You can see where this is going. It's one of those inside office politics stories that die-hard bureaucrats realize is interesting only to other bureaucrats, and even then, what passes for interest exists only in the sense that other bureaucrats can either identify with stories that involve job rankings, or words like "distribution," "administrative rules," "division chief," and various acronyms or empathize with a fellow-bureaucrat's pocket-protector-wearing wonkish need to talk about it.
I stretched and flopped on my stomach with back legs pointing directly behind me. Sometimes this distracts MB into pointing out how cute I am when I do this. Not this time.
This chief, MB went on, was unaware that the enforcement division had received their copies early because of a training program they were teaching. Furthermore, for purposes of this program, the enforcement division had also required more than their usual allotment of books, which meant MB had to order an additional shipment to make up the difference. The shipment of books for the other divisions was expected by MB on Monday, she went on, the day after her return. Actually, these boxes of additional copies arrived the day after MB left town.
I gave MB one of my most seductive, smoldering, stares. I've noticed that she responds with enthusiasm when I do this on car trips. She interpets these heavy-lidded, closed mouthed looks as the expression of great soul and innate wisdom on my part. Actually, it's me feeling mildly queasy from the motion of the car, but she thinks I'm saying something that requires her to stop singing or shouting at other drivers and cover me with loving, appreciative caresses. Sadly, on this occasion, she decided it meant that I agreed with everything she was saying and wanted to hear more.
She remarked that neither Mary-Jo nor Bert seems to have considered the option of awaiting MB's return. As MB pictured it, Mary-Jo and the division chief had to step over the freshly delivered boxes, full of his division's SCAC copies --to get into MB's cabinet to pilfer hers, so that he could waste his time or someone else's to make additional and completely superfluous copies on a photocopier.
MB smacked her forehead indignantly, and Clem looked startled. I looked from MB to Clem then back from Clem to MB, all ears without having the slightest idea why this should matter to anyone.
It would never have occured to Bert, MB pointed out to Clem, to question the necessity of taking this precipitous action. Bert rarely asks questions; it's just not his style. He meant no harm or insult to MB, he just thought he was being helpful. It would never have occured to Mary-Jo to ask, either, but in any case, MB figures Mary-Jo was delighted by the prospect of reporting to the director that MB had neglected the needs of multiple divisions for copies of the SCAC.
What the director (who was apparently not consulted) knew, and what the division chief himself could have told Mary-Jo and Bert, was that he had immediate online access to all updated rules at all times, and that the only purpose for their being in book form for anyone other than the enforcement officers was convenience. There was no imminent need, no pressing emergency that would require this action, other than this division chief's desire to suggest that MB had shirked her duty to provide him an updated SCAC.
This was the division chief, MB explained, who was still irked with MB for catching a provision he had tried to slip into a rule without telling anyone. The provision would have implemented a profound change in policy, one which MB and the director had spent months assuring the General Assembly that the WRC would never, never adopt. Had this provision not been caught by MB, the credibility of the Commission would have been severely damaged. It was MB's work on this issue, in part, that led to MB's being promoted. MB figures the division chief will never be happy about that.
Clem and I have heard this before. I suspect it will come up again.
MB used the SCAC boxes to block me into her office so that she wouldn't have to shut the door while fussing with her plants and moving spray bottles, jugs of distilled water and various water-catching trays back and forth from her office to the kitchen. She listened to a radio program while checking her email, and fussed around with stacks of papers.
I rolled over on my side and groaned at the music Clem was playing from his office. Groaning works. If I keep it up long enough, MB gets nervous that I'll amuse myself inappropriately, and starts nudging Clem that it's time to depart.
Before we left, MB opened the doors to the balcony in the kitchen and in the director's office for a little while to create a hycacinth-scent-dispersal breeze. She also packed up the offending flowers to bring home. Then she made Clem tell her again how Mary-Jo couldn't stop sneezing and demanded to know exactly when Bert shut his door. I figure Clem had to embroider just a bit on the offfice distress, but it seemed to do the trick. MB calmed down and either recovered her sense of perspective or couldn't think of any further details to bring to our attention. We left the office, and came home so Clem could throw me the frisbee and MB could feed me supper.
posted by Lokey @ 4:51 PM
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